We miss you. It's been about 7 weeks since you went to be with Jesus. Nothing seems the same. Every time I went to update this silly blog it seemed unimportant. How do you articulate something so monumental in life like the death of a loved one, on a blog no less. You would have known what to say. You were always so good with words.
So many people came to your service. So many hugs and tears. Mom spoke beautifully about your life and how you always spoke of your cancer as a gift. Gabe sang that special song you loved to listen to on your ipod. Do not stand at my grave and weep.
Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glint on snow. I am the sun on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the sweet uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft star shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.
A few days after you died we went to the hospital to ring the treatment bell for you. The nurses were all there too. We all cried but the words on that wall plaque rang so loud and true as mom spoke them...Ring this bell three times well, it's toll to clearly say- my treatment's done, the course is run and I am on my way. You were so well loved at that hospital. I've come to realize everyone knew you. Years of chemo and radiation will give you plenty of experience with all kinds of people.
You always dreamed about Gabe and I moving back to Florida. Even more we're in the house downtown and I am starting a job at your hospital after all and with one of your doctors. I guess you always knew that these things would fall into place and I know you were helping along the way.
These last few weeks have brought so much change, especially to Mom. You loved each other so much. She sees you in so many faces and hears your whispers in familiar songs. We all do. We all have good days and bad days. We have the faith to know that Heavenly Father has a very special plan for you and for us too.
I hope you know how much we love you. I hope you felt it everyday and that you can feel it now. We can feel you. I'm grateful I could take care of you. I'm grateful for everyday you were in our lives. Thank you for being an incredible testament of faith. We put this scripture on the program at the funeral, the one from your last blog entry.
I will praise the Lord at all times.
I will constantly speak His praises.
I will boast only in the Lord.
let all who are discouraged take heart.
Come let us tell of the Lord's greatness,
let us exalt His name together.
I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me,
freeing me from all my fears. Amen.